“When we say no to something, or we have to wait for something, when we get it, man it means so much more. There are things that I’ve wanted in my life that I’ve had to wait on for a year or two years, or even just two months, and I appreciate them so much more. They mean so much more to me versus just those things that I go out and buy all the time. Part of this, saying “no” to things, brings a lot of joy and gratitude to life. Putting restrictions in your life, and barriers, is not going to hold you up in life—it’s actually going to bring you greater joy, purpose and meaning.”
Executive coach Andy Maurer of Pursue Whole joins me on the podcast to discuss the most important word a high performer needs to learn how to say… and that is, “no.”
There is a part of the episode where Andy provides three practical and powerful tips for discerning whether you should say no to an opportunity. I think it’s something that every entrepreneur needs to hear, so if you listen to nothing else, fast forward to that. It begins around 24:08!
Learning how to say no is such a critical skill for any high performer. It gives someone the space to focus on the best opportunities for them, it builds trust because people know that what you do end up committing to you’ll actually follow through on, and it allows you to create boundaries so your work-life balance doesn’t suffer.
Andy knows high performers. Not only does he work with c-level executives, but he also works with professional athletes and others who have high stress / high performance jobs. The skill to say no, he says, is one of the most important for someone to learn.
Check out the show notes because Andy has even put together email templates that you can download for FREE that will help you say no in a thoughtful way that preserves relationships. There’s even templates for situations where you may have to back out of something because you overcommitted.
Find It Quickly (In the Episode):
2:45 Pursue Whole clients
3:30 Transitioning your professional life to focus on your personal life
6:25 Key differences and common themes among clients
7:00 Common theme is for clients ability to say no
10:01 Leaders fear disappointing other people so they say yes
12:30 For every yes, you’re saying no to something else
14:41 How do you set yourself up to say yes in a healthy way?
16:52 When you say yes, without follow through, you are breaking trust
20:00 Relationships are repaired by closing doors and making amends
21:35: 2 types of responses for repairing after breaking trust
24:08 3 tips for discerning how to respond to an opportunity…
25:24 Tip #1 – Define who is in your inner circle
26:06 Tip #2 – Delay gratification
28:28 Tip #3 – Create core values and stick to them!
36:51 Resource for defining your values and saying no in your email